Quiet Moments
by Lady Callista
Summary: Emma's missing memories of the Snow Queen remind Killian of the other time she was under a memory curse, and how his first try at breaking it was somewhat less than a smashing success. (Captain Swan, post 4.5)


Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: So while "Breaking Glass" gave us brief moments of adorableness, -I simply loved the casual intimacy and meaningful looks and gestures- it didn't give much in the way of fodder for fanfic. But we do what we can. Because this isn't the first time Emma has forgotten someone, and I wondered if this situation would bring up memories of another one, and we never did see them talk about that.

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><p><span>Quiet Moments<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"What I desire are the quiet moments of living; the few minutes of care here and there, the precious bits of laughter, the brush of a lover, the seconds I am understood, that I am seen. These are vital to my happiness."_

_OoOoOoO_

"This is so frustrating!" Emma sighed as she watched static fill the TV screen again. The video had cut off after only a moment of seeing the Snow Queen's face, and although she fast-forwarded, hoping for another clue, the rest of the tape appeared to be blank.

"Instead of answers, we have more questions." Killian easily understood her frustration.

Emma nodded as she turned off the TV, realizing that he didn't even know the half of it. "When Elsa and I were going through the records you brought over, I found pictures of me talking to her when I first came to town. So she was here during the first curse, but I don't remember her at all. We were in the ice cream shop, which I never remember going to until a few weeks ago. But she can't have been cursed by Regina, because then she wouldn't have been able to leave Storybrooke. So we still don't know how she got here, or why I don't remember meeting her -either time apparently."

"Well the _why_ is that someone removed your memories, luv." Killian answered softly. "That really does seem to be a too common theme in this town."

Emma chuckled humorlessly. "It does. I even went to Gold and asked him about a potion to restore them. It worked once, after all."

Killian's eyes went blank, and Emma's thoughts took a detour as she tried to figure out what had flashed in them before it could be hidden. Knowing how much he always worried about her, she quickly laid a reassuring hand on his arm. "I didn't make a deal, don't worry. I might have, but he said that without knowing how they were removed he couldn't do anything. There are spells that can do it, potions, certain beings with the power to, and of course there are always curses, and there are different cures for different ones, and...just... yeah, I hate this. I hate that someone screwed with my memories - again!"

"Well, you did agree to it beforehand the first time." Killian pointed out, his face still mostly blank yet a shadow of pain showing in his eyes, likely as he remembered the moments before she left Storybrooke that day. "And you had so many good memories instead of horrible ones."

_There's not a day that will go by that I won't think of you._

"I agreed because there wasn't really another choice." Emma said softly, raising a hand to his face when he tried to turn it away from her. She thought she knew now what had put the haunted look in his eyes, and it hadn't been his worry over her making a deal. "I wouldn't have left if I hadn't had to. Driving out of town that day, knowing that I wouldn't remember anyone... that I would forget finding my parents, and the friends I had made, and... and you..." It wasn't nearly as hard to admit as it had once been, and she took a deep breath before adding on a whisper, "Killian, you came back for me, no one had ever done that before. I didn't know how to deal with it, I'm still not sure I do, and yeah, I wanted to run away from it, from _you_, but I wouldn't have. I had already thought about it, and, and I wouldn't have run."

Killian's eyes had widened at her unusual openness, and the shimmering affection in their clear depths made her want to be the one to look away this time. She wasn't lying when she said she still wasn't sure if she knew how to deal with him, _with them_, but she was trying so hard because she knew, deep down under the fear, that what they could have together was worth it.

"That's a comfort to know, luv." Killian's voice was as soft as her own, and when he leaned in to kiss her the sweetness of it made her breath catch. Her eyes were still fluttering when his voice turned teasing, "Do you still think about running away from me?"

Emma's eyes flashed open, dropping to the ground briefly as she took a shaky breath. She did, of course she did, it was ingrained habit and would take a long time to break. "I don't _want_ to think about it."

It was a roundabout answer, but she had always been an open book to him. "That's a comfort as well." His voice was warm and slightly deeper than normal.

Emma tipped her head up to look at him again, tilting it slightly as she studied that shadow that still hid behind the gentle look in his eyes. "Something I said earlier bothered you."

"It's nothing."

"Killian." She leaned in to kiss him softly in encouragement, confusion filling her when he pulled back, raking a hand through his hair as he sat on the edge of her desk again. "Tell me."

"Getting your memories back is important, and I... well, I only wish I could help you rule out some of the options."

His voice was barely a whisper, and she moved to stand in front of him as he spoke, moving without thought to stand between his legs. So confused was she by his statement that how naturally she had moved didn't dawn on her, nor did the fact that he was letting such a moment slip by without a hint of a smirk or innuendo.

"You don't have magic, how could..." Emma's eyes widened and she felt like kicking herself. His face had gone blank when she mentioned the memory potion working, and she suddenly realized why. It was because the memory potion had been needed at all. It had been needed even though there was a universal cure for memory loss, at least that caused by curses or potions.

She had tried so hard to forget about that moment, that kiss which she knew only in retrospect was their second, and had been as different as night and day from the first. Even after a year away from her he had still felt strongly enough to believe that maybe... and that had terrified her so much that she had simply blocked it from her mind. But now it came crashing back.

_I had to try. I was hoping you felt as I did._

"It's alright, luv." Killian's arms slid around her, and she saw on his face that he knew she had figured out what was bothering him. "I know you feel something for me, and that's enough. It's more than I ever thought to have again, and..."

"Killian." She cut him off by resting her fingers lightly over his lips. "You spend so much time with Henry, I assumed he had told you more about the book than he apparently has."

"What does the book have to do with anything?" Now he was the one who was confused.

"I need to tell you a story."

"Swan, now's hardly the time for..."

"Just listen." She interrupted again, taking a deep breath. She couldn't give him what he wanted yet, but she knew now how to take away the pain in his eyes. "You know David was engaged when he and Mary Margaret met, and that he was being forced into it. He planned to run away, to leave the arranged marriage and be with her."

Emma gave Killian the highlights of the story, seeing understanding beginning to dawn in his eyes when she spoke of the memory potion her mother had taken, and how her dad had tried true love's kiss to make her remember.

"And they lived happily ever after?" He obviously understood why she had told him this story now, although she could hear the bitterness in his voice at his assumption over the ending.

"And she hit him in the head with a rock." Emma retorted, quickly going on when he looked at her incredulously. "Someone can hardly be your true love when you don't remember them."

She let her hands slid up his arms to rest on his shoulders, watching his face as disbelief turned to shock, then consideration, going through several other expressions she couldn't even place before settling on a mix of affection with a hint of awe. His mouth opened and closed several times, and she held her silence to give him a chance to process everything.

Finally the hope that had been in his eyes on and off since she kissed him outside Granny's burned once again, brighter than ever. Yet he obviously read the nerves on her face and he didn't push for more, as she had known he wouldn't. "And you spoke of creatures that can erase memories, or spells. Does true love's kiss work on those?"

She knew where the question came from at once, and Emma smiled gently as she leaned in to kiss him softly. "Not all of them, no."

_Which meant that there was still a chance they could be true love. _

She didn't come out and say it, she couldn't, but she saw the hope in his eyes burn even brighter, and the love that was underneath. It was one of the things about him that still astounded her the most, how even after all he had been through he could still let himself be this open with her.

She felt her heart shake, wishing she could give him back as much as he gave her. She was getting better at it, she thought as her eyes flicked to the still open box behind him on the desk, smiling as she remembered the gentle look in his eyes as she _gave him the honor _of seeing glimpses of her old life. Most people wouldn't have thought to ask, let alone know her well enough to know how something that simple was such a huge thing for her.

And just when she thought she was going to lose herself in his eyes, just when the anxiety at how serious and emotional things were starting to get hit her, he proved once again that he knew her too well by lightening the mood.

Killian smirked at her as his thumb began stroking her side through her white sweater. "It seems to be my day for hearing things I tried not to hope for. Mayhaps we should see if you can brighten my day any further."

Emma felt the slight blush at the heat in his voice, yet although the innuendo was there in his last sentence his eyes also sparkled with a mischievousness that she knew meant he was mostly teasing. She smirked back at him, "What did you have in mind?"

Killian grinned back, "Things that will have to wait till you get your own place, luv. But if you've finished here for the night perhaps we could have a nightcap at Granny's before we retire for the evening."

Emma grinned back as she tried to pull her thoughts together. As much as it annoyed her, there wasn't really anything else she could do on the case. She had more information than she did before, but as he had said soon after watching the tape, the information had only led to more questions, and she was once again out of ideas on where to look for the answers. And between her long trek through the woods and her extensive use of magic she really was rather exhausted.

"Swan?"

Emma blinked as his quiet voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and she leaned in to kiss him softly. "That sounds nice. And I haven't had much of a chance to look for my own place yet, but I will."

His hand slid from her hip to the small of her back, pulling her slightly closer to him. "Something I'm eagerly anticipating, luv." He leaned in for a deeper kiss, his hook taking the place of his hand on her back after a minute or two so that he could cup her cheek as their mouths opened. Yet despite their relative privacy and the position she'd put them in, he remained a gentlemen. She could practically feel the tension in his body as he resisted pulling her in the last few inches that separated them.

Emma was the one who finally closed the distance between their bodies, taking that last tiny step forward until their bodies touched from chest to hip. He was still perched on the edge of the desk, and she rested one of her hands on his thigh as her moving closer forced his legs further apart. She swallowed his gasp as their cores pressed together, and her other hand trailed over the back of his neck, fingers playing with the short hairs there.

They were both breathless when they finally broke the kiss, and Emma leaned her forehead against his, knowing she should pull back from him but not wanting to do so. His arms around her were warm and comforting, and the heat of him even through their clothes made an echoing heat roar through her. She could feel his desire for her, and her heart ached at how long it had been since someone had wanted her this way, wanted her for _her, _rather than just a warm body to make them feel good for a few hours. The words left her mouth before she could stop them, "There's always your room."

Killian chuckled, taking a deep breath before sliding both hand and hook to her hips and moving her gently back. "I'm not sure you'd be able to look Granny in the eye the next day, even if she did forgive us for your screams waking her and her lass."

Emma laughed as well as the maelstrom blowing through her quieted at his teasing words, "So sure of yourself, are you?"

The heat in his eyes belayed his next teasing words, "I know what to do with a lass on her back, aye."

Her cheeks flushed again as she remembered the moment he was alluding to, remembered the hard planes of his body covering hers, his warm weight pressing her into the ground. It certainly hadn't been erotic at the time, but she could admit to herself if not to him that several of her recent dreams had been fueled by that memory of his body against hers.

All this flashed through her mind, yet she kept her voice teasing as his had been, "And I know what to do with a pirate on his."

His mouth opened, but before he could quip back at her the station phone rang. Emma gave him an apologetic look as she went around the desk to answer it. "Swan."

His eyes were hot on her, and it took more willpower than she was willing to admit to tune into the conversation. She sighed when she hung up the phone, pulling her badge and gun from the desk drawer and reaching for her coat.

"I've gotta go toss some drunks into a cell for the night." She said even as he rose from the desk and moved to follow her. "Apparently there was a fight at Granny's."

"Need help?"

Her shoulders tightened as she locked the station behind them, but she forced herself to relax. He knew better than to ask if she needed help, knew she wouldn't admit it even if she did, but he wouldn't be who he was if he didn't still offer. And she knew an extra body would come in handy as she was dealing with multiple drunks, but admitting that was still hard. So she compromised, "Well, we were going there anyway for that nightcap, so you may as well tag along."

Killian took her hand, raising it to his lips and kissing it briefly before starting across the street, her hand still in his. "As you wish."

She almost wished she hadn't explained that reference to him, but couldn't help the small smile it brought as she fell into step beside him.

Hand in hand with a pirate who looked like he belonged on the cover of a romance novel rather than in the story she had grown up knowing, she headed to a bar owned by a werewolf to deal with a few drunken dwarves.

It didn't even seem strange to her anymore that this was her life; she was just so grateful she wasn't alone anymore.

THE END


End file.
